Our Very Own Angel: Oakland Nurse Helps Borough Residents Connect with Hospitalized Loved Ones Battling Coronavirus
The coronavirus patient at Valley Hospital was sedated and on a ventilator.
Like others stricken in one of the worst ways by the elusive coronavirus, the Bergen County man was battling the disease COVID-19 alone, away from his loved ones.
Then a hand held a phone near him, and through FaceTime, his wife--with their newborn and toddler near her--spoke to him. She told him she loved him. Then, remarkably, after hearing his loved one’s voice, the man’s eyes opened. (He died the next day.)
“There are no words for how moving it was,” said the registered nurse the next day who held that phone and made possible that connection. “This whole experience is so emotional. Last night was amazing and heavy on the heart too.”
She is Tatiana Metje, one of our very own – an Oakland resident who makes special trips to the hospital on her own, personal time to carry out wishes of people in our town who have a loved one at Valley whom they cannot be with because of restrictions aimed at minimizing the spread of the coronavirus.
Metje works in the cardiac step unit at Valley Hospital on weekends. Before the pandemic, the floor where she worked housed patients who had open heart surgeries or who had cardiac disease. Then it became, in her words, “a 100 percent COVID unit.”
Her heart went out to patients who had to battle the virus alone, isolated from their families. And she deeply empathized with the families who could not be with their hospitalized loved ones.
“I lost my father, who was 68, this past August to prostate cancer,” she said. “I was very fortunate to have the opportunity to fly out with one of my children when he took a turn for the worst. My siblings and I laid with him and held him and whispered how he much he was loved in his last moments.
“He passed away in our arms,” she recalled. “It was a moment I will always be so grateful for. There was sorrow but being with him was such a special moment that brought me peace and gratitude to be part of him leaving. It’s important that patients and families to have that moment somehow.”
Metje took to a Facebook page for Oakland residents recently to offer to relay a message, or help them connect with a loved one at Valley Hospital, or provide whatever emotional support to the patient they wished they could if not for the restrictions now in place.
Metje offered to do this even as her responsibilities at the hospital as well as home –where she is caring for and homeschooling her three sons, ages 5, 6 and 8--have gotten significantly more complex.
Her Facebook message said: “I am a nurse at The Valley Hospital in Ridgewood. If you have a family member or a loved one who is a patient at Valley Hospital who you are not able to see, I would love to stop by to visit them. I cannot offer medical updates or communication with the medical team taking care of them, but I can offer a friendly face and a hand to hold.”
“I can also FaceTime a family member to say hello or to see their loved ones during this difficult time. Visitation is suspended right now and no one should feel alone. I can bring photos or cards with well wishes, pictures from kids or grandkids to hang in their room, I can play music for them or FaceTime you when I’m there.”
Even after a busy day homeschooling her children, if a request comes in from someone asking for help in communicating with a patient, Metje will head out to the hospital after her husband gets home from his job with the International Brother of Electrical Workers, Local Union 164.
She also has been willing to get to work before her weekend shift begins in order to make the specially requested visits to patients.
“The goal is to reach as many families and patients as possible,” she said. “I have held hands and I know it brought patients and family comfort—especially when everyone is keeping so much distance—that human touch is not lost and it meant a lot to the patients.”
Metje got the idea to extend the generous offer after a coworker did it.
“A coworker had posted this offer and I was very moved by it,” she said.
The Facebook message was met with an outpouring of gratitude, garnering more than 300 “likes” and scores of comments thanking the nurse for her generosity.
One resident wrote: “What a kind and generous offer. We thankfully do not have a family member there, but my mom is in a nursing home and the FaceTime calls they give to us mean so much! God bless!
Another said: “ Bless you Tatiana Metje. It's you and people like you that will get us through this. With your compassion and kindness is what will be remembered. “
And yet another wrote: “Tatiana Metje you are truly an amazing person for posting that and I thank you from the bottom of my heart even though I don’t have anybody in the hospital right now and I hope that I never do but God bless people like you!”
A wife and mom, Metje is just as concerned about keeping herself and her family safe as we all are, but just the same, she heads out to the front lines of the battle against the virus, serving faithfully in her job and going above and beyond her duties.
“We have had many isolation patients in the past with a potential to contract all kinds of things but this coronavirus pandemic has added a level of fear,” she said. “There is a constant worry by my husband and I that I may bring something home to my family or I may become sick myself. Some co-workers of mine have left their home and children because of that same worry.”
She is a dedicated nurse, but she also feels a special sense of duty to her Oakland neighbors. Oakland, she said, has come through for her and her fellow health care heroes.
“The community’s and my families support reminds me we can always do more,” Metje said. “As you know there is a real concern of not having enough PPE (Personal Protective Equipment).”
PPE is vital so that health care workers can protect themselves and their patients from harmful exposure to this virus. PPE includes an isolation gown, an N95 filtering facepiece respirator or, if not available, a facemask, a face shield or goggles, and gloves.
Many hospitals in virus outbreak hotspots lacked enough PPE.
”Five weeks ago I began a local PPE collection at my home,” Metje said. “We are new to Oakland--we moved here over the summer. I was shocked by the love I received from Oakland. Neighbors, small business owners friends and family would drive up and drop off equipment for me in a box outside my door.”
“For example, a small business here in Oakland, Wall Athletics, donated 50 N95 masks and gloves. This business is facing the fear small businesses are facing and yet selflessly purchased and donated to his local hospital and nurse. New neighbors dug into their garages and dropped off any supply they could find.”
“My husband’s friends from Local Brotherhood of Union Workers dropped off suits I could wear over my scrubs so my coworkers and I could be protected,” she said. “Each piece was worn with deep gratitude and love and a reminder that people are amazing and united through this.”
“And that’s the best inspiration for anyone to want to give more.”
What helps this mother of three and a nurse in the middle of a pandemic get through each day, each week?
It's her compassion, and focus on how she can lift others – whether it’s her Oakland neighbors, or those fallen by the virus, or her boundless love for her little boys. What some may see as burdens to bear all at the same time, Metje sees as a way she can use her skills to help, or at least try to offer support and some comfort in this devastating time.
“When I work on the weekend it’s humbling,” Metje said.
“My coworkers and I have to come together situations and environments that are difficult, to say the least, but the camaraderie and unity in these moments is so present.”
“After working the weekend I feel gratitude that my family, my children and my husband are healthy,” she reflected. “I want to eat up every moment I have with my kids.”
Elizabeth Llorente is editor of the newsletter and vice chair of the Oakland Communications Commission.