Syrian Woman Finds Freedom In America And Friendship In Oakland
Sandy Khabbazeh’s mother had a decision to make.
She could keep her daughter with her in the war-ravaged country of Syria, or let her flee to the United States for freedom that was nowhere on the horizon in their homeland.
Life in the city of Aleppo had become intolerable. Constant bombings and death, shortages of food and electricity had made life a nightmare for the Khabbazeh Family.
Bombs exploded nearby daily and Syrian troops were on the next street. There was no meat available for their table, so the family of four became vegetarian. Their lives were filled with fear and uncertainty. Sandy Khabbazeh was studying to get her civil engineering degree at the university in Aleppo, but with only one hour of electricity from 3 a.m. to 4 a.m. each day and no internet, it was difficult to study. Nevertheless, Sandy and her brother George, also a student, did the best they could.
With a contact in New Jersey willing to sponsor Sandy, who was then 25, the mother made the difficult choice to let her leave her side in 2014 for a better life.
Here in her adopted homeland, Sandy spoke no English. She enrolled in a program offered by Rutgers University in Newark for foreign students. After eight months she completed the program, but was not ready to attend a university.
“In my first days here, I felt peace and love. Life was normal here. In Syria, nothing was normal.”
And yet, the trauma of life in her wartorn homeland still affected her, leaving her anxious.
She began taking long walks.
“I walked and talked to people. It made me feel less lonely.”
One day she walked from Wayne to Oakland.
“I saw the Oakland Library and went inside and met some friendly people. It became my refuge. I went from hell to here, but I still felt awful and I needed to pray, to have courage.”
On a day that was “very, very bad,” as she put it, Sandy went to Ponds Church – even though she was of another faith -- to spend quiet time in healing prayer. But when she attempted to enter the church, all its doors were locked.
After a few days of trying, the librarian at the library suggested she try a small door at the rear of the church which opened into the church office.
That door was the door to her new life.
There she was met by a caring staff member who introduced her to Ponds’ minister, Pastor Nathan.
Upon hearing her story, Pastor Nathan brought Sandy’s plight to the attention of the Ponds Church congregation. Very quickly a team was assembled to plan how to help Sandy.
“They studied my culture, my history and the war in Syria to understand me fully so they could guide me and help me.”
The members circled around her and gave her friendship, provided her with transportation and tuition assistance. They steered Sandy to a therapist to help with her anxieties, her nightmares. She lived with a Ponds family for three months, and when they left the area, Pastor Nathan and his family took her in.
In time, Sandy felt more confident and began working at the Subway in Oakland.
“All the support I received helped me a lot. With the transportation offered by a Ponds friend, I began attending a technical school in Jersey City and I passed the exam to become a licensed concrete inspector.”
Being at large construction sites in New York City was a step toward her dream of becoming a civil engineer. A Ponds congregant donated an auto. Sandy was now independent and so grateful.
“I could now pay for my food, my rent and gas for my car.”
After eight months as a concrete inspector, through a friend who taught at Rutgers, she became friendly with a Syrian couple who had green card status. He had an engineering degree from Syria. He helped Sandy get a position with the N.Y. City Department of Design and Construction, where she acts as a liaison between contractors and clients at various Manhattan construction sites.
Sometime in 2017, a young man looking for a church joined Ponds Church. He and Sandy became friendly. Soon their relationship grew into love. In October, 2017, they were married in City Hall in Manhattan.
“It was God’s plan,” she says.
Today at 30, Sandy has been here five years. She is happy, gaining in experience and knowledge.
“I love America, my new home. I do feel so blessed that I encountered the wonderful people at the Ponds Church and Oakland’s library. They welcomed me to their homes, shared their Christmases, opened doors for me, gave me a new world of experience, taught me about kindness and generosity.”
Sandy’s mother, who was also a civil engineer and who had been to the United States in the ‘70’s, always dreamed of living in America. When her two children were born in Syria, she named them “Sandy” and “George,” envisioning that with American names they would someday assimilate more easily.
She could not have foreseen the catastrophic war in her country, nor the kindness bestowed upon her daughter by the good people of Oakland/
About the people of Oakland and the Ponds Church congregation, Sandy says in a voice filled with emotion, “Without the love and help they gave me as a person, I would not be here. They understood my situation and without knowing anything about me, they encouraged me. When I felt defeated, their power pushed me to succeed.”
Terri Casaleggio is a correspondent for the Oakland Borough Newsletter.